Sonoma Sojourn

So SO disappointing today…

My friend, Suzanne, and I spend a wonderful afternoon in Petaluma at the 10th Annual California’s Artisan Cheese Festival. We’ve tasted local wines, farmstead cheese, decadent chocolate, handcrafted beer, seasoned oils, artisan breads, crisp endive, California dates (fruit – not men), and more.

On the way home, we stop at Trader Joe’s to pick up a few grocery staples: riced cauliflower, turkey jerky, fresh vegetables, chicken, and fruit. We pull into the parking lot and hit parking lot karma: the first spot closest to the store’s entrance – a treat, since it’s been pouring all day and we can run into the store without our umbrellas.

We shop, we line up at the register, and our cashier is gregarious. He’s returned from Texas to visit his daughter, who moved there recently with a teacher’s job. He’d gone to the market while visiting there and purchased lemons, limes, cantalope, strawberries, chicken, fish, and more … for only $18!!!

“That’s better than shopping at Trader Joe’s!”, I say. I’m impressed. “Yes,” he tells me. “That’s why Trader Joe’s can’t compete down there.”

Mr. Cashier continues: “Gas is only $1.39/gallon there. It’s almost $3/gallon here.” He’s giddy sharing this information.

I agree that that’s a huge difference in pricing, but “I’m sorry,” I say., “It would take more than lower gas fees for me to move to Texas, at least until I hear otherwise – I don’t want to live that close to Ted Cruz.” I’ve been texting a lot lately, and I try to make an appropriate smiley face as I speak so that he will know I’m somewhat kidding.

I don’t think I succeed.

*  *  *  *  *

Suzanne and I hoist our two bags of groceries out of the shopping cart, which we leave outside Trader Joe’s door. We rush to deposit the bags into the trunk of the red Ford Fusion before they get soaked.

We slam the trunk door and tumble into the car. Before Suzanne closes her door, we hear a young man yell, “Do you want me take this carriage back to the store?” We see him hoist a cart off the curb next to our car.

We shout out the window, “Yes. Thank you!” We think he’s polite – even solicitous.

He grabs the red handle of the carriage and propels himself toward the store. He stops for a moment to yell over his shoulder:

“Next time, maybe you can bring this back yourself. It’s not that far a walk.”

He yells it in such a way that we know he is neither polite nor solicitous.

*  *  *  *  *

It takes less than a moment to compost what has just happened.

We realize this is a passive aggressive person who thought he was going to teach us a lesson. We wonder if he would have been so rude if we were elderly, or physically challenged by weight or otherwise.

We consider going into the store to find this person and let him know that he’s got this all wrong. We want him know that THAT was NOT our carriage, and we wonder what has happened in his life to make him so hostile (perhaps he will tell us).

*  *  *  *  *

So if you’re reading this, sir, please consider this:

You made an assumption today about the shopping cart – and, thus, you made an assumption about us. Luckily, it didn’t impact our lives in the overall scheme of things – except for the fact that it felt as if you’d punched us in the stomach with your mean spirit camouflaged as an act of kindness.

But on any other day, you might make a judgment about something you think you’ve witnessed. It could be misinformed … misjudged … a mistake. The repercussions of such a judgment just might ruin someone’s life: theirs, or yours.

Please don’t assume … “When you assume … you make an ass out of u and me …”

Three years ago, I packed up my life here in Sonoma (my three and a half month ‘Sonoma Sojourn’) and returned to Boston. At that time, I believed I’d be back same time, next year.

Three days ago, I returned from Boston to Sonoma. Smokey and I endured a turbulent flight (she threw up; I did not), and then encountered a kind (but not-so-smart) car rental agent. Take away learning: don’t ask Terry to see if there’s a less expensive way to rent for two months vs. what I’ve reserved to date. Not when you’ve been up since 4am EST and you’ve traveled with a cat in a carrier underneath the seat in front of you and both of you are dehydrated, exhausted, and wondering if this trip is a good idea after all.

An hour after first meeting Terry, we locate the red Ford Fusion that is to be ours for the next two months. I load in our luggage. I wash Smokey’s carrier as best I can with the small bottle of water hijacked from Jet Blue, along with a pile of Jet Blue napkins. I release Smokey to the wilds of the car’s interior, release the emergency brake, and accelerate north to Sonoma.

Through the city, through the Presidio, over the Golden Gate Bridge, breathtaking in its majestic rise: red towers against brilliant blue skies. We stop on the other side of the Bridge to take a photo … what would it be like to see this sight every day? I can hardly imagine.

We’re here now. Car is unloaded. Cat is settled in.

Definitely a good idea.

Even though we spent more time at the Budget car rental counter than desired, the brightly colored welcome sign made me smile.

Iconic red against brilliant blue.

Smokey resting on the living room couch. She’s back ‘home’!

Every morning, gratefulness.org delivers a message to my inbox. Sometimes the quotes are interesting but not of particular relevance to me at the moment. Other times, like today, the message goes straight to my heart:

Be still, and the world is bound to turn herself inside out to entertain you. Everywhere you look, joyful noise is clanging to drown out quiet desperation.  – Barbara Kingsolver  – High Tide in Tucson

At times when I feel ‘quietly desperate’ (what will new health insurance cost, can I actually afford to move to Sonoma, what Nashaquisset detail now has to be addressed, will I ever be part of a couple again – a question that for some reason unexpectedly, deeply pierces my mind and heart these past few months?), I will listen for the joyful noises. Oh wait – here they are now: Smokey sits on my feet as I write; magnolia leaves slowly drift down like giant snowflakes from the tree outside my bedroom window; a blue sky beckons me outdoors. Quiet desperation be gone! At least for now.

What would I do without her? I’m obnoxiously appreciative that Smokey chose me in Wyoming…everyone should have a ‘Smokey’…

The magnolia tree – and blue sky – from my bedroom window this morning (I’m still in bed as I shoot this with my phone!).

More joyful noise: another stop at the Fruit Basket – lemons are 3/$1, avocados are 69 cents … what a bahgain!

I feel like I’m in Italy! Viansa Winery high on the hilltop … is this Sonoma – or Tuscany?!

Looking over Viansa’s vineyards toward Sonoma. Beautiful.

Crabapple trees fiercely in bloom… dee-licious!

Life is good. Sometimes it’s hard to remember that, but it is. Thank you goodlordjesus.

Sonoma Valley averages 12″ of rain in January and February; as of today, we are 11″ short of that number. When I told people I was coming here for four months, from January through April, those in the know told me in polite terms that I was crazy: those months are Sonoma’s rainy season … not the best way to enjoy all that Sonoma offers. I didn’t care. I bought rain boots and fully expected to walk around town bundled in my orange (uh, coral) raincoat, huddled beneath my fashionable umbrella. Lo and behold: since I’ve arrived we’ve had three days with precipitation (one included a very exciting hail storm). Experts record total rain/hail fall as 1″.  And I know what’s coming: if the new forecasts are correct, we will experience two months of rain (the two months I have left to enjoy) — and now that I’ve been to Paris, so to speak, how will they keep me down on the farm? The weather here has been P-E-R-F-E-C-T (sunny, warm during the day, cool/cold at night); I will be happy if I never put on the rain boots while here in Paradise.

A few years ago I struggled to come to the surface and breathe as I transitioned from being married to not being married. One of the exercises I practiced every night before I fell asleep was to consciously acknowledge what I had experienced that day for which I could be grateful; it served to remind me that even when times are difficult, there is always something – no matter how seemingly inconsequential – that has been good. This week has been an up and down week for me, but today I was reminded to put that practice back into play. Here’s what I enjoyed today (besides having only 1″ of rain so far) and for which I’m grateful:

1. Hullabaloo. Remember the dance show? KQED, my local public television station, is broadcasting clips from the show as part of its fundraiser. Peter Noone (Herman’s Hermits!) is the host … right now the Lovin’ Spoonful is on with “You Didn’t Have To Be So Nice”. OMG!!!! Hullabaloo go-go is making me so-so happy! The dancing! The music! The hair-dos! The Mamas and Papas, Paul Revere and the Raiders, The Supremes, Barry McGuire, The Turtles, Wee Five, The Brothers Four, Jay and the Americans, The Zombies, Little Anthony and the Imperials, The Byrds, The Rascals, The Beau Brummels, Petula Clark, Nancy Sinatra, Trini Lopez, Sonny & Cher, Shirley Ellis (“The Name Game: Shirley! Shirley Shirley Bo-Birley…”).

2. Smokey. She is funny, cute, and even annoying when I’m trying to work … but Smokey and I went out for a bike ride today – something I might not have done if not for her. I packed her up in the wicker basket Steph and Lisa gave her two years ago on Nantucket and headed out. We had no itinerary and wove in and out of the streets of the neighborhoods between here on Oak Lane and Buena Vista Winery … that’s where we ended up, and as we paused to turn around and head back up the hill, people gathered around us to marvel (yes, marvel!) at a cat in a bicycle basket. Cameras snapped shots of Smokey; people rubbed beneath her chin; Smokey closed her eyes in appreciation … what a show! She might be the only cat in Sonoma that gets driven around in a basket on a bike … so many people do a double-take as we pedal by and they realize it’s a cat in the basket. (What were they expecting?!)

3. Fragrances. Acacia trees – brilliantly yellow frilly leaves bursting with a sweet smell that causes allergies for many, but thankfully not for me. Eucalyptus trees – originally imported from Australia in the 19th century with the hope that it would provide lumber for the West, but wood from the tree turned out to be terrible lumber – very dense, hard to cut, and with a tendency to twist. The trees are pest-resistant with shallow root systems, so they’re not the best trees to have around – but they do smell delicious. Mowed grass – one of my favorite smells, evoking memories of mowing lawns on North Avenue in Brockton while growing up and of Big Horn in Wyoming; so evocative.

4. Bank deposits and other tasks for Nashaquisset. Not a particularly glamorous task during the day, but one for which I am grateful: a lot of paperwork tackled early in the day and off my to-do list … at least until more leases come in on Monday! So much to do over these next few weeks as the count-down begins for the 2013 season. I almost panic at the thought of it all, but then I remember to take it all in small pieces – think of them as a series of manageable tasks – but there are so many tasks to manage. I pray every night that nothing falls through the cracks – or at least nothing that can’t be remedied.

5. Skype. I watched Hayes crawl around the room today as we Skyped (he particularly likes heading toward the fireplace; Graham tells him ‘no, hot!”, but it’s not hot and so what is Hayes to learn?? And Max and Mason Skyped today, too – both have been sick but will be heading to Dubai Thursday night for a long weekend getaway – Adam will continue on to Barcelona for a business meeting after that; I didn’t know Dubai was that close to Singapore! I don’t get a chance to really speak with Adam while we Skype, so maybe we can talk during the week and I can find out more about ‘why’ Dubai, etc.

6. Sonoma. Just because.

Likely there are many more things that took place today that I am grateful for, but right now I’m mostly grateful for being tired and grateful for a wonderfully comfortable bed here in my little home away from home. Hope you enjoyed a day full of things to be grateful for, too – sometimes they’re not obvious, but they’re there.

If you ever see a lucite box like this … please pick it up for me! This is the second one I’ve gotten at a yard/rummage sale – perfect for jewelry!

I can’t resist: I drive to Oakland (only 62 miles away) to shop the Preview Day of what has to be the biggest White Elephant sale in the world – or at least in northern California. If you’re not into thrift store shopping, you probably can skip this post. If you ARE into thrift store shopping, you might want to skip this post – you don’t want to know what you missed.

Run by the Oakland Museum Women’s Board, the White Elephant sale is their only fundraising activity and has contributed over $18 million since it began in 1955 (last year, the sale raised $1.8 million alone!!!). Filling a 96,000 square foot warehouse, there are 17 departments featuring sporting goods, art, vintage clothing, books, bric a brac, linens, housewares, garden goods, furniture, rugs, jewelry, kids toys and games, stationery, accessories – and a ’boutique’ featuring finer pieces of silver, crystal, and other delectable collectibles. But nothing I read online about the sale can prepare me for what I am about to experience.

The sale begins at 10 in the morning, and I arrive in Oakland (finally … thanks to my GPS) at 9:30. It takes a while to find a place to park, but I do and walk over to where I see a line of people; obviously, they’re waiting for the sale to begin. What I don’t know until I get closer is that this is just part of the line … I walk down the block, around the corner, and down several more blocks to find the end of the line. Along the way I buy my “preview” ticket: $20 for the privilege of elbowing my way through the cavernous warehouse with thousands of others. I quickly do the math in my head: ‘x’ amount of people at $20 a head (or $15, if you purchased in advance) = a whole lot of money. No WONDER the sale produced $1.8 million last year!

I walk into the warehouse and my jaw drops – really, it does. I cannot believe what I see before me: 96,000 square feet totally filled with everything described above and more. I want to call my friend, Miki, who ‘yard sales it’ with me on Nantucket – I want to Skype her to show her what I’m looking at. She would love it here. Where do all these things come from? How long does it take to stage it all? Each department is fully packed. The book department is larger than most book stores today — the books are stacked on shelves by genre, and within each genre they are stacked alphabetically by author. I can’t believe it. The sports department features golf clubs, tennis racquets, bicycles, baseball bats, soccer balls, badminton racquets, croquet sets, surfboards, skis. Guess how many coffee makers, crock pots, toasters there are in the world? They are all here at the sale. Do you need a garden hose, bird cage, oriental rug, printer paper, file folders, piano, pony? (They actually sold a pony there one year, I understand.) The most amazing thing to me is that every single item is priced. No matter how small it is (a baggy full of paper clips, for instance), it is labeled and priced. There are hundreds of packs of playing cards — each pack has been taped and priced by one of the thousand volunteers it takes to put this sale on. Vintage clothing? Price tags of hundreds of dollars hang from beaded gowns and embellished jackets; I wonder who wore these clothes before? An actress? A socialite from the Bay Area? Walking sticks, designer shoes, silk scarves, bedspreads, scrapbooking materials, spinning globes with countries no longer in existence…no matter what you are looking for (or not), it is here at the White Elephant.

You need stamina to navigate the White Elephant. After only three hours I think I’ve seen all that I can handle, but before I can get to the “hold desk” to pick up my folding table with wicker tray ($30) and a brown carton that now holds my small lucite four-drawer box (it corrals staples and oversized plastic paperclips now, but I am buying it for only $2 to store some of the jewelry I’ve brought with me), the white artificial floral arrangement ($4) that I will put on the patio table to brighten up the backyard a bit, the blank cards from Michael’s that I will print as Valentines ($1), and three books (a kid’s biography of A.P. Giannini – founder of Bank of America/1956, Mark Bittmans’ Quick and Easy Recipes/2007, and Make It Yourself: Simple Wooden Toys/1945), I wander through the linen department and find a table runner ($6) and six pants hangers ($2) that I absolutely need.

I saunter back to the car (I cannot walk any faster) with bags over my shoulders, balancing the collapsed table and tray between cramped fingers. I’ve spent a total of $53 (there are some other things I purchased not mentioned above), plus the $20 admission fee. Plus gas money, of course. And what I learn is this: it is worth the price of admission to see just what it is I might need. Thankfully, I am in a rented home and don’t need much, if anything –  but I AM thinking about returning to the sale when it officially begins March 1 for two days … you never know – I just might need a pony by then.

Bicycles in the sports department.

You need golf balls, you say?

The Art department: framed, unframed, prints, paintings, posters.

Ladies clothing, mens clothing, designer clothing…great deals if you’re up for looking through all the racks.

This is the ‘bric-a-brac’ department, which might be another way of saying ribbons, decorations, paper, party goods, and more.

Playing cards: all sealed and marked by 1,000 volunteers. Amazing.

The best parts of “A.P. Giannini: Boy of San Francisco” are the comments that some young student added to the text of the book — cynical, funny, ‘laugh out loud’ counterpoints to the poignant story of this Italian’s rise to success. Haven’t made anything yet from the cookbook, but I’ve enjoyed thumbing through the recipes; and as soon as I get my rule, try-square, chisel, saw, plane, hammer, coping saw, sawing board, file, brace, pincers, spokeshaves, bradawl, screwdriver, glasspaper and block, brace bits, compasses, nail punch, drills, and oilstone unpacked … I will begin gathering the materials needed to make these simple wooden toys.

These actually look better in person than in this photo … and for $4 … they are FABulous!

The wicker tray lifts off the table base; the table base folds. How neat is THAT?!

I needed a diffuser. The cottage here is fine, but sometimes when I come in from outside I think it needs to smell a little fresher or spicier or something other than what it smells like (not that it smells bad). I look everywhere in town for a diffuser that doesn’t cost $100; I can’t find any in what I think is my price range and wonder what it is I’ve been missing with regard to price points and diffusers. (I’ve been spoiled by diffusers I’ve bought at TJMaxx and HomeGoods and other fine department stores, where $17 is expensive!) No matter. I drive 30 minutes to Corte Madera, halfway between Sonoma and San Francisco, to take a one-to-one course at the Apple Store on iMovie. If I get the time to practice what I learned, you’ll soon be seeing mini-movies here on the blog … except that maybe I need to upgrade my membership by a million dollars so I can post videos. I’ll figure that out later. At any rate, I hope to run into a TJMaxx or HomeGoods along the way, but I don’t … and I find myself taking a right turn into “CornerStone” on my way home from class. CornerStone is just pass the Fruit Basket — an open-market stand where you can buy lemons and avocados, fruits and vegetables of all types … bulk oatmeal, candy, rice, and nuts … and wine for $3 a bottle less than you can find it in town. CornerStone is collection of art galleries, shops, wineries and a gourmet café and market – set amidst nine acres of garden installations created by the world’s leading landscape architects, I’m about to find out. I stop into one of my favorite stores, Zipper, to look for diffusers — theirs start at $125, and I try to memorize the smell of the fragrance as I put down the bottle as quickly as I had picked it up to inhale. Really: $125 for a bottle with reeds that promise to aromatize the air for at least six months; is there a money-back guarantee? I do find a pearl ring on leather that is only $20 (it FITS my big fat fingers!!), and there is a night light that I buy: it’s a black box about 6″ x 7″ and it says ‘Love is all you need’. What I particularly love about it is that only the word ‘Love’ lights up when it’s plugged in … so I leave it plugged in all the time and am happy when I see ‘Love” lit up. I walk into the store next door to Zipper … there is a large selection of diffusers to choose from; most are substantially under $100! The woman who is on duty when I arrive is sitting at a round metal table in the corner of the store; she is cutting large heart shapes out of magazines and assembling them so that when she stitches up the center of them, they will unfold to a dimensional celebration of love for Valentine’s Day. We talk about the art she is creating, what I am looking for, why I am here in Sonoma and not in Boston.  We talk about her new kitten and litter boxes in general and Smokey, who is on my CapitalOne card. How was Smokey’s trip out on the plane? (Uneventful, thank heaven.) How did she adjust to the new environment? (Seems to be doing okay.) Is she an indoor cat? (She doesn’t want to be, and I do let her out on the porch occasionally – but only if I’m with her.) Have you been through the gardens yet? Gardens? I didn’t know there were gardens here – I thought this was just a collection of stores. I tell her not yet — I’m about to do that. It’s not true, but as soon as I say the words, it becomes true. My catholic guilt and commitment to going beyond my comfort zone assert themselves and I walk out the door and to the left and down the flagstones leading me to the Sculpture Garden.

As soon as I step through the entrance to the Garden, I thank god that I ignored my laziness to enjoy these walk-through installations. Landscape architects and designers from around the world were given the freedom to create anything from traditional gardens to modern, conceptual installations and were provided a garden parcel of approximately 1,800 square feet, a few practical considerations – and the sole directive to “Invent, inform and create beautiful and thought provoking spaces”. And so they did –  from “Garden Play” to “Small Tribute to Immigrant Workers”, from “Eucalyptus Soliloquy” to “Red Lantern”, it was an unexpected treasure to spend time amidst these artists’ interpretations under Sonoma’s brilliant blue skies.

Life is good. Especially since I write this wrapped in the fragrance of fresh cut tuberose … I admit I spent more on this  diffuser than I usually do – but a lot less than $125. And besides which (how was it that that commercial went – L’Oreal, I think?)…

“I’m worth it!”

Lemons, apples, avocados…everything costs less here than in town! Yum!

“White Cloud” – sculpted cumulus clouds (swirls of wire mesh supported by posts) with thousands of clear cut crystals ‘catching the light from morning to moonlight’.

Another view of White Cloud … one of my favorite installations.

Small Tribute to Immigrant Workers

Small Tribute to Immigrant Works — intriguing and informative.

Garden Play.

Eucalyptus Soliloquy

Eucalyptus Soliloquy: Leaves folded and pinned to formed various designs.

Close up of pinned eucalyptus leaves.

Red Lantern – homage to Chinese laborers.

The Children’s Garden — a gathering of special things about Sonoma to entertain children of all ages.

Bright birdhouses!

I might have already mentioned this, but the birds outside our front window are amazing as they chow down on apples still hanging onto the bare branches. Today a big fat mourning dove settled into the curve of one of the branches … he lorded above all and I saw no other birds while he held court there. But here are a few photos of some of our other visitors. I wish Aunt Esther were here to tell me everything there is to know about these beautiful creatures:

This must be a ‘he’ because of the colors … I need to find my “Birds of Sonoma” book to identify for sure!

“Peck, peck, peck!” Hmmm…I’m thinking that these apples have actually turned to cider…maybe even HARD cider!

Look at this beautiful creature…

Taking a break from apple sauce…